Today, there are many factors that can prevent a romantic relationship from lasting long and well. Especially couples who want to have a happy relationship need to put in more effort. However, a couple of psychologists who have worked with 40,000 couples for more than 50 years believe that happy relationships are not as far away as they think. Moreover, this pair of psychologists has been happily married for 35 years. Let’s look at the details together…
Julie and John Schartz Gottman have worked together for over 50 years.
Spouses-psychologists claim that during this time they have worked with 40 thousand couples and have gained a lot of experience in relationships. So much so that our couple of psychologists can predict with 94 percent accuracy whether a couple will break up after spending just 15 minutes with any couple. Here are couple experts Julie and John Schartz Gottman who, after working with 40,000 couples, say that happy relationships are mostly based on one…
For a happy relationship, tell your partner, “Don’t turn your face, turn around!”
A couple of psychologists say that the behavior they call “attachment seeking” is the most important factor behind a happy relationship. The couple states that the desire to get closer can be expressed in behaviors such as “trying to get attention by mentioning the partner’s name” or “bringing the issue to the table.” They talk about the fact that happy relationships are possible with couples who are not indifferent to the desire to connect and understand enough to interrupt what they are doing if necessary.
According to the psychologist of the couple, the desire for attachment is responded to in different ways.
Experts explain this process and answers to the desire to connect with 3 simple examples. For example, have your partner say out loud, “This is an interesting article” while looking at their phone. According to a couple of psychologists, there are 3 different attitudes and 3 different responses to this discourse (the desire for attachment).
First, the desire to communicate is recognized and cared for. That is, “face to face”. His answer was: “Is it so? about what?”
Second, the connection attempt is ignored. That is, “face to face”. The answer is silence or doing what you are doing.
The ultimate response and response to the desire to connect is to resist this desire and stop the connection attempt: “Can’t you see I’m busy?”
Here, according to couple Julie and John Schartz Gottman, how you respond to your partner’s desire to connect is the most important thing for a happy relationship.
A positive response to the desire to communicate can help strengthen the foundation of your relationship.
In this way, you will simultaneously strengthen the bonds of love between you and your partner and establish a real team spirit between you. However, as Julie and John Schartz Gottman have stated, partners may not always respond positively to the desire to connect. But happy relationships are still possible.
The couple states that it is possible to practice and develop the behavior of “turning your face”, which they consider the first rule of a happy relationship. In addition, applications that can be made to acquire this habit are collected under 3 main headings.
Set a suitable time frame, such as a moment before work in the morning. Then ask your partner, “Do you want anything from me today?” Ask a simple question, such as According to experts, this way you can get your partner to think about your needs and show that you want to be with him.
Don’t miss out on potential moments of connection! For example, don’t make eye contact, don’t smile, and don’t say goodnight. Because moments that seem small and insignificant at first can strengthen the bond between you and your partner by helping you practice the “face turn.”
Don’t give up now! Because the desire of couples to get closer may not coincide at the same time. Instead of turning your face or giving up the desire to communicate in these moments, explain why you are unavailable …
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