4 Things That Show Your Partner Has an Avoidant Attachment Style

Every day we learn something new about human relationships and psychology. Developmental psychology, one of the sub-branches of psychology, studies people in four main areas: physical, cognitive, socio-emotional, and personal development. In this article, we will talk about attachment theory, which is one of the most well-known theories of developmental psychology, and the “attachment avoidant” position in this theory.

What is Attachment Theory?

John Bowlby was a psychologist and psychoanalyst who studied attachment behavior in the 1950s and 1960s. Attachment theory explores the development of the bond between caregiver and child/parent and child and the resulting attachment patterns in the future. As a result of his research on children, Bowlby understood the dynamics between parent and child and how deeply these dynamics can affect social, emotional, and cognitive development. We can explain this theory in the shortest and most understandable way as follows. Children who do not receive enough attention from their families when they are young have difficulty establishing relationships when they grow up.

Of course, there are various articles in this theory that explain the situation and the results in more depth. These items are as follows:

1. Reliable fastening

The secure attachment style expresses a warm and loving bond between parent and child. The child feels loved and cared for and develops the ability to establish healthy relationships with others. They carry this healthy attachment style into adulthood and build long-term relationships without fear of abandonment.

2. Anxiously unstable attachment

Anxious-ambivalent children tend to distrust their caregivers. They constantly seek approval out of fear of being abandoned, and as they observe their surroundings, they become anxious at the slightest change. These people are often emotionally dependent in adulthood.

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3. Avoidant attachment

Children who form avoidant attachments to their parents grow up with the idea that their emotional needs will not be met. When these people grow up, they find it difficult to understand their emotions and tend to avoid close relationships.

4. Wrong attachment

Disorganized attachment is a combination of avoidant and anxious attachment. Children in this group often have violent tantrums. Children who develop with the wrong attachment style have anger issues as they grow up and find it difficult to control their emotions.

Now, avoidant attachment Let’s talk about 4 signs of people who have style 👇

1. They run away when things get better.

People with an avoidant attachment style, as the name suggests, have difficulty attaching to others. So when their relationship or business partnership goes well, they get scared. While this may sound ridiculous, it should not be forgotten that this is a psychological condition and people do not act in this way consciously. These people believe that if they become attached to someone, they will definitely suffer. Therefore, they self-destruct their relationships in order to feel safe.

2. They get stuck in the past.

Another obvious sign of avoidant attachment is clinging to your partner’s past. The inability to forget former lovers, talk about someone else, or even cling to the mistakes you made in the past is a symptom of this condition.

3. They don’t trust anyone.

People with an avoidant attachment style do not trust others. For example, if you tell them that you are going to meet your friends, they will become suspicious. They are constantly trying to find out if you are lying. Somewhere they want you not to harm them.

4. They are hot and cold

Perhaps the most important characteristic of people with this attachment style is that they are either completely cold or completely warm. There is no middle. One day they can be very happy with the relationship, and the next day they can quarrel out of the blue.